400, 000 bloggers After reading I.M. Beck's piece in today's Tajms I imagined Malta's entire population being overcome by a blogging epidemic. In international circles, Malta (and Gozo, don't forget Gozo!) would come to be known as "the island of 400, 000 voices". The world media would investigate the "fascinating social phenomenon sweeping a small Mediterranean island". Reports would talk of Maltese political parties (including Alternattiva) "in disarray as traditional control channels collapse". Local journalists, made redundant, would be up in arms at this "mass attack on our livelihood". Xarabank, proclaiming that it is "l-unika vera vuci tal-massa" would set up a Save the Peppi Kola Campaign. Only Jason, Joe and Harry would attend. The Curia would issue a statement condemning "this new threat to traditional moral values which shows up the egoism, individualism and atomisation of our times". Michel Houellebecq, on a short stay in what he will go on to term "ce trou du cul mediterraneen", would simply say "He he he!". In an interview with Le Monde, Guzeppi Mercieca would decry "this plague coming from Europe". Roamer would agree. Daphne, unseated from her role as Malta's most cutting-edge, outspoken, thorn-in-everyone's-backside journalist, would leave the island, settle in Camden Town and set up a blog there called "Down and Out in Malta and London". The caption would be "jien mhux mara tad-dar". A General Bloggers Union (l-ikbar union f'Malta, Ghawdex u kullimkien) would be set up. Malta would host the annual World Bloggers Festival (250 million visitors and counting) and Francis Zammit Dimech would praise "the huge efforts this government has made in the tourism sector". On hearing this, Evarist Bartolo would smile sardonically. Sant would write a column called Progging the Horse to Death in which he would Predict the end of Maltese politics as we know it...  ¶ 7:01 PM