An Investigative Journalist's Guide to French Slang The eyes of the world have been firmly focused on France over the past 18 days. For all the wrong reasons, of course. Even the punters back home in Malta, who’re usually more prone to reflect and report on what goes on in the UK and in Italy as if those two countries were the alpha and omega of European culture and politics, have been casting their gaze on the slightly more inaccessible Republique francaise. Thanks to the riots, most people back home, brought up on an Italo-Anglo-Saxon-Malti diet, have by now probably heard of Seine-Saint-Denis and Clichy-sous-Bois while Nicolas Sarkozy is likely to become a household name alongside Tony Blair and Gianfranco Fini. Every cloud has a silver lining they say. Didier Destremeau’s new book might, by an ironic twist of fate, become a bestseller. But the language used in the banlieues of Paris, Toulouse and Lyon is far removed from the flowing prose with which the ex-ambassadeur will have adorned the pages of his book. Here’s Lanzarote’s list of French slang that might prove useful should any Maltese investigative journalist attempt to wade through the wreckage and destruction to discover whether any Maltin live in Le Blanc-Mesnil. Bondi + might want to give Strasbourg and Joseph Muscat a miss. Xarabank, which has recently been investigating in Rotterdam, might want to travel to Clichy-sous-Bois in order to unravel whether Sandro Zerafa (muzicist maghruf Malti) is living anywhere near there. Or maybe Nies ta’ Veru could link up with someone’s desperate great-aunt whose car was torched by those darn immigrants.

Here’s the list:

Bagnole(la) – the real star of the past 18 days. The innocent car also known as voiture or automobile.

Beurs (les) – persons of North African origin. The expression « Black-Blanc-Beur », a take on « Bleu-Blanc-Rouge », was used to describe the French national football team of Thuram, Petit and Zidane that went on to win the 1998 World Cup (when everyone in Malta had, in double despair, started cheering for Brazil). It was later used to describe the whole of multicultural France but has recently come under severe scrutiny.

Bordel (le) – literally a bordello or whore-house. A mess or utter chaos.

Bougnoules (les) – a derogatory term used to describe persons of North African origin.

Boulot (le) – work. Used in the lovely expression « metro-boulot-dodo » which describes the typical life of most working adults. Specjalment jekk idoqqlok dak l-izveljarin, Norman.

Cathos-fachos (les) – in the French psyche the two concepts almost go together naturally. Short for Catholiques – Fascistes.

Chichi – Jacques Rene Chirac, President de la Republique. I only got to know that his second name was Rene today. Uncanny coincidence.

Dodo (le) – sleep.

Flics or Schmitts (les) – the police.

Flotte (la) – water.

Gosses (les) - children

Gamins (les) – also children

Gonzesse (la) – a chick (as in, good looking girl)

Kif-kif – used in the expression c’est kif-kif. In Maltese mhux xorta?

Klebar (le) – in Maltese kelb.

Mec (le) – a guy.

Nana (la) – a girl. Generally used appreciatively.

Paname – Paris.

PPDA – Patrick Poivre d’Arvor. The French have elevated their newscasters into veritable stars and PPDA is at the apex of this star-sytem. France’s answer to Leonard Callus.

Ritals (les) – derogatory term for Italians. The English have the Irish, the French have the Italians. The Maltese have their klandestini and their Gozitans.

Sarko – The very media-conscious Minister of the Interior, Nicolas Sarkozy, himself the son of Hungarian immigrants. He is blamed in some quarters for fanning the flames by using the word racaille (in Maltese zibel) to describe certain law-breaking individuals. My Magyar friends inform me that Sarkozy actually means bog or muddy pit in Hungarian. The man has his own blog.

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