Friday, December 16, 2005
Budget
Ewan Camenzuli in Brussels
British contribution 'to increase a thousandfold’ as Chirac turns on his charm
Britain has agreed not only to cut her notorious rebate but to increase her contribution to the EU budget a thousandfold as French President Jacques Chirac turned on his famous charm and convinced Britain that she has to pay her 'fair share’ of enlargement, diplomats at the scene of the talks said today.
Under the agreement, yet to be confirmed by leaders, Britain would pay for the whole of the EU’s 850 billion budget between 2007 and 2013 and also take over the financing of French overseas departments in a bid to assure her European partners that she is serious about further integration.
Diplomats here attributed the amazing turnaround to French President Jacques Chirac’s famous charm which convinced hitherto hostile British officials that 'frankly, it has got to be done’, in the words of one higly placed source. Officials say British Prime Minister Tony Blair departed 'somewhat shaken’ after face-to-face talks with Chirac and left Foreign Secretary Jack Straw in charge of further negotiatons. French officials described Chirac as 'visibly jubilant’.
"Wow,” exclaimed one Maltese negotiator after he was informed of the developments. "This will pay for our crap roads, entirely finance Dar Malta, solve our deficit problem and even leave some pocket money for a generous contribution to l-Istrina. Chirac has really done it.”
British officials, on the other hand, were wiping their forehead after they were briefed about Blair’s betrayal. "You realise what this means. David Cameron will massacre us,” said one diplomat, referring to the Conservative opposition’s new, combative leader. European Commission officials estimated that under the new scheme the British Treasury is likely to go bankrupt at some point within the next 7 years. "They will soon qualify for Objective 1 support,” said one Commission source, trying to sounds humorous. ¶ 9:45 AM
British contribution 'to increase a thousandfold’ as Chirac turns on his charm
Britain has agreed not only to cut her notorious rebate but to increase her contribution to the EU budget a thousandfold as French President Jacques Chirac turned on his famous charm and convinced Britain that she has to pay her 'fair share’ of enlargement, diplomats at the scene of the talks said today.
Under the agreement, yet to be confirmed by leaders, Britain would pay for the whole of the EU’s 850 billion budget between 2007 and 2013 and also take over the financing of French overseas departments in a bid to assure her European partners that she is serious about further integration.
Diplomats here attributed the amazing turnaround to French President Jacques Chirac’s famous charm which convinced hitherto hostile British officials that 'frankly, it has got to be done’, in the words of one higly placed source. Officials say British Prime Minister Tony Blair departed 'somewhat shaken’ after face-to-face talks with Chirac and left Foreign Secretary Jack Straw in charge of further negotiatons. French officials described Chirac as 'visibly jubilant’.
"Wow,” exclaimed one Maltese negotiator after he was informed of the developments. "This will pay for our crap roads, entirely finance Dar Malta, solve our deficit problem and even leave some pocket money for a generous contribution to l-Istrina. Chirac has really done it.”
British officials, on the other hand, were wiping their forehead after they were briefed about Blair’s betrayal. "You realise what this means. David Cameron will massacre us,” said one diplomat, referring to the Conservative opposition’s new, combative leader. European Commission officials estimated that under the new scheme the British Treasury is likely to go bankrupt at some point within the next 7 years. "They will soon qualify for Objective 1 support,” said one Commission source, trying to sounds humorous. ¶ 9:45 AM
