Sunday, April 23, 2006
Brussels by Night
What we're listening to:
What we're reading:
What we're doing:
My friend from the stage, Mij is back in town after a two-year hiatus in London where he worked for the Treasury. Mij is short for Mujtaba and he makes the best curry I've ever tasted. He has also appointed me his official 'wing-man' which means that I get to accompany him on his frequent forays into Brussels nightlife. This is a good deal which lends itself to laughs, some decent conversations with random girls and - when it really gets going - the occasional dancing session with Hungarian babes on the tables of Guru Bar just off Place Flagey. Lazy Sundays are beautiful in Brussels. Mij invited us over for lunch and we sat in his flat dipping fresh baguettes into hot curry soup. We were soon engrossed in an intriguing conversation. Not about identity, migration, religion or politics but about the relative worth of Brussels clubs. What's good, what's bad and what you should avoid like the plague. Rebecca, a Scot and Anna - my English girlfriend - were crucial contributors to the analytical debate that followed. The outcome of this important meeting of minds was the mapping out of a "Sleaze-Scale of Brussels Joints" in which the following factors (in random order) were taken into account. (G) denotes a factor which particularly concerns female patrons of a particular joint:
1) the number of guys who attempt to pick you up in the space of half an hour. (G)
2) the blatant nature of the pick-up attempts;
3) the lighting of the place (also known as the 'neon-light' factor);
4) the number of guys with a "pudding-basin + shaved sides" haircut;
5) the 'kulcheral events' associated with the joint;
6) the cheesy music factor;
7) the gay factor: in a predominantly heterosexual bar, the presence of gays generally pushes up the 'class factor' of a joint by several notches;
8) the percentage of over-40s in the joint;
9) why people are there in the first place;
10) the percentage of men who "blatantly rub their tackle against your arse as they pass by". (G)
What we're reading:
What we're doing:
My friend from the stage, Mij is back in town after a two-year hiatus in London where he worked for the Treasury. Mij is short for Mujtaba and he makes the best curry I've ever tasted. He has also appointed me his official 'wing-man' which means that I get to accompany him on his frequent forays into Brussels nightlife. This is a good deal which lends itself to laughs, some decent conversations with random girls and - when it really gets going - the occasional dancing session with Hungarian babes on the tables of Guru Bar just off Place Flagey. Lazy Sundays are beautiful in Brussels. Mij invited us over for lunch and we sat in his flat dipping fresh baguettes into hot curry soup. We were soon engrossed in an intriguing conversation. Not about identity, migration, religion or politics but about the relative worth of Brussels clubs. What's good, what's bad and what you should avoid like the plague. Rebecca, a Scot and Anna - my English girlfriend - were crucial contributors to the analytical debate that followed. The outcome of this important meeting of minds was the mapping out of a "Sleaze-Scale of Brussels Joints" in which the following factors (in random order) were taken into account. (G) denotes a factor which particularly concerns female patrons of a particular joint:
1) the number of guys who attempt to pick you up in the space of half an hour. (G)
2) the blatant nature of the pick-up attempts;
3) the lighting of the place (also known as the 'neon-light' factor);
4) the number of guys with a "pudding-basin + shaved sides" haircut;
5) the 'kulcheral events' associated with the joint;
6) the cheesy music factor;
7) the gay factor: in a predominantly heterosexual bar, the presence of gays generally pushes up the 'class factor' of a joint by several notches;
8) the percentage of over-40s in the joint;
9) why people are there in the first place;
10) the percentage of men who "blatantly rub their tackle against your arse as they pass by". (G)
Here's the final classification in order of sleaziness with a short description of each joint:
¶ 3:22 PM 1) Conway's. What the Americans term a "dive bar", i.e. you can't sink lower if you tried. On the up-market Avenue de la Toison d'Or.
2) Havana. A meat-market dressed up as a Latino paradise. Maltese Eurovision idols are known to frequent this location. Off Rue Haute.
3) Les Salons de l'Atlaide. The building is impressive and looks like a Persian palace. The music and clientele lets it down terribly. So does the fact that it was recently taken over by Belgian-French crooner Johnny Halliday. Chaussee de Charleroi.
4) The Living Room. Opposite Les Salons de l'Atlaide. Just a boring, boring place.
5) Mirano @ 7. Yuppie after-work meat-market. Chaussee de Louvain.
6) Galleries Louise. Great location, disappointing all-round. Avenue Louise.
7) Barrio. Small, smokey, sweaty cellar. Place de la Chapelle.
8) Le Corbeau. Drunken dancing on tables is Corbeau's speciality. People have been known to fall off. Off Boulevard Anspach.
9) You Club. Frequented by a teenage, mainly local, crowd. Rue Duquesnoy.
10) Level Bar. Not much going on here but decent location to sip a Martini . Place Chatelain.
11) Le Cercle. Not much going on here either but friendly crowd. Off Place du Sablon.
12) Dali's Bar. One of our favourites. Good music. But make sure you tip the bouncers as you leave. Petite Rue des Bouchers.
13) Cafe Central. Great for a few chilled drinks with mates but not too good on the dancing side. Place St. Gery.
14) Mezzo. Often welcomes good DJs but our coats were stolen here once.
15) Bazaar. Upstairs Bazaar is a lovely restaurant which actually houses an old Mongolfiere. After 11 the club kicks off in the cellar. Friendly staff, music has improved greatly, friendly crowd. Maltese writers have been known to be inspired by blonde women wearing floral dresses in this place. Rue des Capucins.
16) Guru Bar. Slowly becoming one of our favourites. A pricy restaurant turns into a groovy club. Takes ages to get a drink but the Mojitos and the Hungarians are worth the wait. Off Place Flagey.
18) Cafe Belga. Part of the culturally throbbing Flagey complex and a great place to sip your Blanches and Leffes before the party gets going. Place Flagey.
2) Havana. A meat-market dressed up as a Latino paradise. Maltese Eurovision idols are known to frequent this location. Off Rue Haute.
3) Les Salons de l'Atlaide. The building is impressive and looks like a Persian palace. The music and clientele lets it down terribly. So does the fact that it was recently taken over by Belgian-French crooner Johnny Halliday. Chaussee de Charleroi.
4) The Living Room. Opposite Les Salons de l'Atlaide. Just a boring, boring place.
5) Mirano @ 7. Yuppie after-work meat-market. Chaussee de Louvain.
6) Galleries Louise. Great location, disappointing all-round. Avenue Louise.
7) Barrio. Small, smokey, sweaty cellar. Place de la Chapelle.
8) Le Corbeau. Drunken dancing on tables is Corbeau's speciality. People have been known to fall off. Off Boulevard Anspach.
9) You Club. Frequented by a teenage, mainly local, crowd. Rue Duquesnoy.
10) Level Bar. Not much going on here but decent location to sip a Martini . Place Chatelain.
11) Le Cercle. Not much going on here either but friendly crowd. Off Place du Sablon.
12) Dali's Bar. One of our favourites. Good music. But make sure you tip the bouncers as you leave. Petite Rue des Bouchers.
13) Cafe Central. Great for a few chilled drinks with mates but not too good on the dancing side. Place St. Gery.
14) Mezzo. Often welcomes good DJs but our coats were stolen here once.
15) Bazaar. Upstairs Bazaar is a lovely restaurant which actually houses an old Mongolfiere. After 11 the club kicks off in the cellar. Friendly staff, music has improved greatly, friendly crowd. Maltese writers have been known to be inspired by blonde women wearing floral dresses in this place. Rue des Capucins.
16) Guru Bar. Slowly becoming one of our favourites. A pricy restaurant turns into a groovy club. Takes ages to get a drink but the Mojitos and the Hungarians are worth the wait. Off Place Flagey.
18) Cafe Belga. Part of the culturally throbbing Flagey complex and a great place to sip your Blanches and Leffes before the party gets going. Place Flagey.
Comments:
<< Home
Guru Bar: If you're dancing on a table and want to move from one to another, make sure you find a real guy who can help you do the transition. Sometimes it just ain't that smooth. Nghaddu issa ghall-muzika...
Absolutely crucial advice Pierre. And spoken with authority borne out of experience. How could I have left that out?! :-)
Radio 101. Min ghandna fuq il-linja?
Post a Comment
Radio 101. Min ghandna fuq il-linja?
<< Home
