Special dedication to all Maltese tourism 'stakeholders' and to our globe-trotting blogger Rene-Fidel who may wish to ditch his Houellebecq under the coconut tree and run to the nearest Cuban newsagents' to grab a copy. Geez, life's funny isn't it? You sit in a lonely grey office in Luxembore and your daily blogging 'appointment with your loyal readers' looks like a naughty treat. You fly away to an exclusive Cuban beach and it becomes a burden. Cheeky Charlie.
Que te diviertas Rene-Fidel y Hasta el Euro Siempre!
PARIS (AFP) - Le Canard enchaîné s'en prend au monde des vacances et du tourisme, dans un dossier spécial intitulé "Les marchands de soleil" à paraître mercredi. Dans un tour de la galaxie du tourisme en quelque 79 étapes, l'hebdomadaire n'oublie personne, de l'hébergement social au Club Med en passant par la sécurité aérienne et les arnaques des taxis parisiens.
Sur les hôtels, le Canard note ainsi que "les étoiles au firmament de l'hôtellerie française ne brillent pas toutes de la même façon", étant "souvent plus brillantes que l'hôtellerie qui les affiche".
Il se moque des formules "tout compris", très à la mode, destinées "à donner une impression d'opulence à bon marché" mais parfois trompeuses, ironise sur les voyages des seniors, les voyages de congrès, le net, les bas salaires des vols low-cost.
Le transport aérien fait l'objet de beaucoup d'attentions, avec "la tarification aérienne à géométrie plutôt variable", les "gros blancs dans la liste noire" des compagnies à risque, qui "ne veut pas dire grand chose".
Parmi les destinations, Cuba est rebaptisé "circuit castronomique", le tourisme médical et de santé est brocardé, de même que la Corse ou le Périgord, "la nouvelle Angleterre".
("Les marchands de soleil". 80 pages. Les dossiers du Canard. 5,35 euros)
Word Key
Le Canard Enchaine' = literally, The Chained Duck. French satirical newspaper.
les arnaques = fraudulent activities/daylight robbery
le "tout compris" = all inclusive
bon marche' = bargain/cheap
les seniors = old age pensioners (OAPs)
¶ 2:28 AM
The key to a good holiday is choosing the right stuff. Just like a good book and a good blog. The All Inclusive in this case was not trompeuse at all... it is highly recommendable... you might want to look up Sol Melia Paradisus varadero to get a hint of the fun and games to be had here. You also get to see Milan lose to Barca on a pirated Satellite. That-s Champsion Ligg for the non/qualifiers among us.
As for Cuban newsagents. i am afraid you have your research wrong. Cubans have none. Newsagents. Not even tourist centres like Varadero can enjoy the luxury of reading foreign illustrious papers, let alone bog reading like Le Canard.
Finally, if you read Houellebecq carefully (the long winded whinge that is called Plateforme) you will have found that what Canard says is no news at all. Tourist all inclusive traps are all over the place. Try Djerba ... I fell into the trap last year... and that made me check out all options really well this year. You know... once bitten twice shy.
Yes, the cultural half of this holiday did include the discovery of a thriving medical industry in Cuba / foremost among which is plastic surgery. Something like what the PN geniuses wanted to achieve with the hospital in the med for the med but which of course they failed to achieve. Sometimes Fidel can rock.
Incidentally Fidel is in long speeches mode. It is the 45th Anniversary of the Playa de Giron battle here. So he is really getting hyped with reminescent 4 hour speeches on tv. At times it gets more interesting than that Houellebecqian whinge. But then it would not take much would it?
In case you are wondering the Cubans do have one newspaper. It is called Granma and has nothing to do with nanna and more to do with a yacht that transported Fidel from Miami to Cuba on his first attempt to take power.
tell that to Houellebecq 9the one who sucks)
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