Brussels Blog
Friday, December 30, 2005
Harry Potter and the Evil Bloggers
We're in Malta for the rest of the holidays. The highlights so far have been
#1 watching jelly-fish copulate in the Portomaso marina (this may be due to my fascination with David Attenborough's Life in the Undergrowth)
#2 smashing my dad's car's huib-cap on a protruding curb in Naxxar
#3 going to a party and realising that one of the fashion trends in Malta as 2005 comes to a close is Rasta does New Age does Yiddish gathering.
#4 meeting more people who're planning to pack their bags. The reasons? "It's too small."
#5 being attacked by several Maltese picture by-lines (see previous post). They're everywhere.
#6 reading that "on the website for the Independent City of London school for boys, a profile of (Harry Potter star) Daniel Radcliffe appears to have been posted by a fellow pupil . It includes the words "friends:none" and "the media's sucking **** **** and you still deny u like punk and wear tartan trousers." (in an article called School bullies target pupil web logs).
Highlights of 2005?
#1 the rise and rise of xenophobia. I think it's fair to say that it's fairly widespread.
#2 The Slow Exodus continues.
And a question for the bloggers: are we being read?
Happy New Year! ¶ 1:49 AM 1 comments
#1 watching jelly-fish copulate in the Portomaso marina (this may be due to my fascination with David Attenborough's Life in the Undergrowth)
#2 smashing my dad's car's huib-cap on a protruding curb in Naxxar
#3 going to a party and realising that one of the fashion trends in Malta as 2005 comes to a close is Rasta does New Age does Yiddish gathering.
#4 meeting more people who're planning to pack their bags. The reasons? "It's too small."
#5 being attacked by several Maltese picture by-lines (see previous post). They're everywhere.
#6 reading that "on the website for the Independent City of London school for boys, a profile of (Harry Potter star) Daniel Radcliffe appears to have been posted by a fellow pupil . It includes the words "friends:none" and "the media's sucking **** **** and you still deny u like punk and wear tartan trousers." (in an article called School bullies target pupil web logs).
Highlights of 2005?
#1 the rise and rise of xenophobia. I think it's fair to say that it's fairly widespread.
#2 The Slow Exodus continues.
And a question for the bloggers: are we being read?
Happy New Year! ¶ 1:49 AM 1 comments
Tuesday, December 27, 2005
Christmas in NW3
#1 spending hours and hours at the Hampstead Waterstones choosing presents for my huge English family. From Louis (age 20 months) to Miles (age 70). Counting-blocks, a Mister Men stencil-set, Murakami's Norwegian Wood. Bookshops are always great fun especially when they're a one-stop-shop before Christmas.
#2 taking time off shopping to start Murakami's South of the Border, West of the Sun in Cafe Rouge.
#3 opening my Christmas stocking with A, in bed.
#4 playing Jenga and opening pop-up books with the cutest children in the world.
#5 playing Articulate with amusingly competitive adults.
#6 missing midnight Mass but going to the lovely Choral Matins at 11am the following morning at Hampstead Church. Great singing and the best sermon I've ever heard - the Irish vicar (I thought he was Canadian) had a Stephen Hawking drone of a voice which simply drew me in like a magnet (honest) and pronounced the line "now we'll all go home and eat so much that we'll explode then walk to our sofa, lie down and sleep" (imagine that line read by Hawking. This was OK Computer does Christmas Mass). Later some organ-playing reminded me of Jean-Michel Jarre but A didn't agree when I pointed this out her.
#7 Christmas lunch at A's sister's. Wow!
#8 watching Once in a Lifetime at The National. I'm not a big fan of musicals (in fact they tend to depress me) but this was not really a musical - just a bit of dancing and singing in cabaret style every now and then. David Suchet (Hercule Poirot) was great in the role of a Hollywood magnate. This production was what I'd call eye-candy. Not my favourite kind of theatre by a long shot but good fun - a bit like going to the circus.
#9 reading a letter from David Cameron MP LEADER OF THE CONSERVATIVE PARTY which was sent to A. It's signed 'David'. What next to appear 'EVEN closer to the electorate'? Nicknames?
#10 reading Is It Just Me Or Is Everything Shit? The Encyclopedia of Modern Life. Entries include "Networking", "Roadtanks - SUVs, 4x4s, etc.", "High-profile local businessmen" and "Pubs selling shit art". There's also this one (probably my favourite):
Picture bylines
These pictures are useful in helping the reader identify with the person behind the word-processing document. These smart, thoughtful portraits convey the message that the newspaper is employing the intellectual elite and reassures the reader that the following text composed is not by someone who is ugly (and Christ, nobody wants that).
The messages etched into their expressions convey a series of complex signifiers. This one has a faraway look, scarred but resolute, obscurely strengthened by experience. Like Rutger Hauer in Blade Runner, it says: "I've seen things you people wouldn't believe...attack ships on fire off the shores of Orion..."
Here the writer arches their eyebrow. This is to physically, literally represent that they are arch and knowing. It is helpful for them to do this as you will be entirely unable to detect this from the text, which will be self-obsessed drivel.
Another nods their head downwards, coyly smirking up to the camera, saying, "Betya wanna shag me, don'tcha? Don'tcha? Huh!?" Others, peering sideways over their shoulder with their eyelids half-closed, look wry and mocking and say: "There's no one in the world more wry and mocking than yours truly - but don't worry, I'm self mocking too!"
#11 it was snowing a minute ago and I was going to end with that. But it's stopped. So I won't. ¶ 12:42 AM 2 comments
#2 taking time off shopping to start Murakami's South of the Border, West of the Sun in Cafe Rouge.
#3 opening my Christmas stocking with A, in bed.
#4 playing Jenga and opening pop-up books with the cutest children in the world.
#5 playing Articulate with amusingly competitive adults.
#6 missing midnight Mass but going to the lovely Choral Matins at 11am the following morning at Hampstead Church. Great singing and the best sermon I've ever heard - the Irish vicar (I thought he was Canadian) had a Stephen Hawking drone of a voice which simply drew me in like a magnet (honest) and pronounced the line "now we'll all go home and eat so much that we'll explode then walk to our sofa, lie down and sleep" (imagine that line read by Hawking. This was OK Computer does Christmas Mass). Later some organ-playing reminded me of Jean-Michel Jarre but A didn't agree when I pointed this out her.
#7 Christmas lunch at A's sister's. Wow!
#8 watching Once in a Lifetime at The National. I'm not a big fan of musicals (in fact they tend to depress me) but this was not really a musical - just a bit of dancing and singing in cabaret style every now and then. David Suchet (Hercule Poirot) was great in the role of a Hollywood magnate. This production was what I'd call eye-candy. Not my favourite kind of theatre by a long shot but good fun - a bit like going to the circus.
#9 reading a letter from David Cameron MP LEADER OF THE CONSERVATIVE PARTY which was sent to A. It's signed 'David'. What next to appear 'EVEN closer to the electorate'? Nicknames?
#10 reading Is It Just Me Or Is Everything Shit? The Encyclopedia of Modern Life. Entries include "Networking", "Roadtanks - SUVs, 4x4s, etc.", "High-profile local businessmen" and "Pubs selling shit art". There's also this one (probably my favourite):
Picture bylines
These pictures are useful in helping the reader identify with the person behind the word-processing document. These smart, thoughtful portraits convey the message that the newspaper is employing the intellectual elite and reassures the reader that the following text composed is not by someone who is ugly (and Christ, nobody wants that).
The messages etched into their expressions convey a series of complex signifiers. This one has a faraway look, scarred but resolute, obscurely strengthened by experience. Like Rutger Hauer in Blade Runner, it says: "I've seen things you people wouldn't believe...attack ships on fire off the shores of Orion..."
Here the writer arches their eyebrow. This is to physically, literally represent that they are arch and knowing. It is helpful for them to do this as you will be entirely unable to detect this from the text, which will be self-obsessed drivel.
Another nods their head downwards, coyly smirking up to the camera, saying, "Betya wanna shag me, don'tcha? Don'tcha? Huh!?" Others, peering sideways over their shoulder with their eyelids half-closed, look wry and mocking and say: "There's no one in the world more wry and mocking than yours truly - but don't worry, I'm self mocking too!"
#11 it was snowing a minute ago and I was going to end with that. But it's stopped. So I won't. ¶ 12:42 AM 2 comments
Saturday, December 24, 2005
Il-Milied it-Tajjeb
The census of Bethlehem (1566)
The census of Bethlehem (1566)
Pieter Brueghel the Elder
Musees royaux des Beaux-Arts, Bruxelles
Il-Milied it-Tajjeb lill-qarrejja kollha ta' dan il-blogg
A Happy Christmas to all readers of this blog
David
¶ 12:35 PM 1 comments
Il-Milied it-Tajjeb lill-qarrejja kollha ta' dan il-blogg
A Happy Christmas to all readers of this blog
David
Friday, December 23, 2005
Of Fascists and Restaurant Critics
"Sono un fascista, non un razzista"
Just before we all set off on our Christmas hols, two interesting cases concerning the limits of freedom of expression. Above, Lazio player Paolo Di Canio shows us, yet again, what a charming fellow he really is. And in this case, a Maltese court upholds the right of a restaurant critic to, well, presumably say that the food at the ominously named Casa Nostra joint was pretty lousy, the service atrocious, the management a bit on the rough side and the wine over-priced. It happens you know. Although I'd love to read the review itself which was called No Messing With This Family. Maybe it went beyond the disappointing Bistecca alla Fiorentina. All these gangster overtones sound pretty cool. ¶ 7:06 AM 2 comments
"Sono un fascista, non un razzista" Just before we all set off on our Christmas hols, two interesting cases concerning the limits of freedom of expression. Above, Lazio player Paolo Di Canio shows us, yet again, what a charming fellow he really is. And in this case, a Maltese court upholds the right of a restaurant critic to, well, presumably say that the food at the ominously named Casa Nostra joint was pretty lousy, the service atrocious, the management a bit on the rough side and the wine over-priced. It happens you know. Although I'd love to read the review itself which was called No Messing With This Family. Maybe it went beyond the disappointing Bistecca alla Fiorentina. All these gangster overtones sound pretty cool. ¶ 7:06 AM 2 comments
Thursday, December 22, 2005
Predictions for 2006
#1) In the first three months of 2006, every single Maltese expat will return to Malta, creating an unprecedented population explosion and a “real threat to our culture and traditions as well as an unbearable strain on our resources.”
#2) Xarabank will be renamed Ajruplan and will, in Big Brother style, chart the “thrilling, racy and exciting” lives of MEPs Joseph Muscat and David Casa as they “juggle” their various activities around the globe.
#3) A volcanic island, the size of Comino, will appear mysteriously from the depths to the south of Filfla. Defining it as “a gift from God in these challenging times”, Prime Minister Gonzi will announce that it presents the ideal solution to the immigration problem, declaring that Libya, Italy, Malta and Holland will share sovereignty of the craggy outcrop.
#4) Divorce will suddenly become a non-issue and it will be introduced by means of a “fast-track legislative procedure”. The Pope will promise never to visit Malta.
#5) Basing itself on the Depasquale Report, the UN will officially award Malta the “Racism-Free Country gong” at a glitzy, well-attended ceremony outside Safi barracks.
#6) Book-shops will sprout up all over the islands, replacing car showrooms. New-car importers’ champion Georg Sapiano will complain “we had no other option, damn it”. A flourishing of Malta’s cultural scene will ensue and the country will overtake Iceland as the world’s best-read nation.
#7) Daphne Caruana Galizia will become Malta’s only expat (see 1), leaving the island to set up a chic boutique in London’s Chelsea district. She will later claim that “I was getting caught up in a spiral of negativity. The country was just driving me fucking nuts.”
#8) Malta’s entry to the Eurovision Song Contest will be largely ignored by the local press. Leading pundits and opinion-makers (including Guze Stagno) will triumphantly declare “the birth of a new cultural revolution.”
#9) A cutting-edge underground “Maltro” system will be inaugurated to everyone’s sheer bewilderment. PM Gonzi will simply say “Ha! It has been kept secret for the past 10 years. Forget CHOGM guys - I promise you it will be the Pride of Europe. At any rate much better than this joke!”. Sant and several newspaper editors will resign on the spot. However, controversy will erupt over the names to be given to the stations, indefinitely postponing the opening of the system to the public. The Times will commission an on-line poll to discover whether readers would prefer stations to be called Chiara/Ira Losco; Borg Olivier/Mintoff; Ewropa/Le; San Gorg/Santa Marija and so on and so forth.
#10) Juventus will not win the Italian league.
#11) The KMB(2) (Klabb Malti Bocci Brussell) will organise its second (and last) game of bocci before the departure of all its members (see 1). The Luxembourg branch will be cordially invited to participate.
A Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all loyal readers, fellow columnists and the editor of Lanzarote. In fact, on second thoughts, these wishes only go out to all those who agree with me. The rest of you might just as well piss off. ¶ 3:53 AM 1 comments
#1) In the first three months of 2006, every single Maltese expat will return to Malta, creating an unprecedented population explosion and a “real threat to our culture and traditions as well as an unbearable strain on our resources.”
#2) Xarabank will be renamed Ajruplan and will, in Big Brother style, chart the “thrilling, racy and exciting” lives of MEPs Joseph Muscat and David Casa as they “juggle” their various activities around the globe.
#3) A volcanic island, the size of Comino, will appear mysteriously from the depths to the south of Filfla. Defining it as “a gift from God in these challenging times”, Prime Minister Gonzi will announce that it presents the ideal solution to the immigration problem, declaring that Libya, Italy, Malta and Holland will share sovereignty of the craggy outcrop.
#4) Divorce will suddenly become a non-issue and it will be introduced by means of a “fast-track legislative procedure”. The Pope will promise never to visit Malta.
#5) Basing itself on the Depasquale Report, the UN will officially award Malta the “Racism-Free Country gong” at a glitzy, well-attended ceremony outside Safi barracks.
#6) Book-shops will sprout up all over the islands, replacing car showrooms. New-car importers’ champion Georg Sapiano will complain “we had no other option, damn it”. A flourishing of Malta’s cultural scene will ensue and the country will overtake Iceland as the world’s best-read nation.
#7) Daphne Caruana Galizia will become Malta’s only expat (see 1), leaving the island to set up a chic boutique in London’s Chelsea district. She will later claim that “I was getting caught up in a spiral of negativity. The country was just driving me fucking nuts.”
#8) Malta’s entry to the Eurovision Song Contest will be largely ignored by the local press. Leading pundits and opinion-makers (including Guze Stagno) will triumphantly declare “the birth of a new cultural revolution.”
#9) A cutting-edge underground “Maltro” system will be inaugurated to everyone’s sheer bewilderment. PM Gonzi will simply say “Ha! It has been kept secret for the past 10 years. Forget CHOGM guys - I promise you it will be the Pride of Europe. At any rate much better than this joke!”. Sant and several newspaper editors will resign on the spot. However, controversy will erupt over the names to be given to the stations, indefinitely postponing the opening of the system to the public. The Times will commission an on-line poll to discover whether readers would prefer stations to be called Chiara/Ira Losco; Borg Olivier/Mintoff; Ewropa/Le; San Gorg/Santa Marija and so on and so forth.
#10) Juventus will not win the Italian league.
#11) The KMB(2) (Klabb Malti Bocci Brussell) will organise its second (and last) game of bocci before the departure of all its members (see 1). The Luxembourg branch will be cordially invited to participate.
A Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all loyal readers, fellow columnists and the editor of Lanzarote. In fact, on second thoughts, these wishes only go out to all those who agree with me. The rest of you might just as well piss off. ¶ 3:53 AM 1 comments
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
The haters of liberalism
The man in the picture is Iranian president Mahmud Ahmadinejad. He has just banned "western, indecent music" from being broadcast by Iranian State radio.
Ahmadinejad became president of Iran this year, promising to abolish the reforms introduced by his predecessor Mohammad Khatami and to usher in a new "ultraconservative" revolution, taking back Iran to the period just after the Islamic Revolution of 1979.
Over the past couple of weeks he has also made violent antisemitic declarations, among which that the Holocaust was a "myth" and that Israel should be "erased from the map". ¶ 9:11 AM 1 comments
The man in the picture is Iranian president Mahmud Ahmadinejad. He has just banned "western, indecent music" from being broadcast by Iranian State radio.
Ahmadinejad became president of Iran this year, promising to abolish the reforms introduced by his predecessor Mohammad Khatami and to usher in a new "ultraconservative" revolution, taking back Iran to the period just after the Islamic Revolution of 1979.
Over the past couple of weeks he has also made violent antisemitic declarations, among which that the Holocaust was a "myth" and that Israel should be "erased from the map". ¶ 9:11 AM 1 comments
Sunday, December 18, 2005
Bejn il-Limbu u Dona Flor
Restaurant Dona Flor Brasil - 375, Chaussee de Waterloo
The Living Room - Chaussee de Charleroi
Last night several members of the liberal elite met up in the Belgian capital and established the following facts:
1) the Vatican is really closing down Limbo;
2) the statement "most Maltese football matches are fixed or rigged" is nothing more than an urban legend;
3) some people would rather follow Floriana - Belt than Milan-Juve given the choice;
4) the village of Nadur in Gozo was once actually re-named New York;
5) the village of Qala in Gozo was once actually re-named Calcutta;
6) discos in Gozo change their name frequently. Thus Legends, Planet, Thunder and more recently Ku-Club (cul club?) describe the same venue over time. Virtual variety.
7) most Maltese male members of the liberal elite approve of those shiny, glittering objects stuck to the back of blue jeans worn by females of the species. Gozitans approve too;
8) watching Bruges-Roma live in the UEFA Cup is an equally attractive proposition to members of the liberal elite. Even if this entails catching a 3-hour train from Luxembourg plus a one-hour drive;
9) the ANR should be invited to participate in a study-tour of Brussels, in particular the restaurant Dona Flor Brasil.
Several Brahma beers and caipirinhas later, once these facts were set in stone, the liberal elite proceded to issue the following statement at a sparesly attended press conference as the snow fell outside, the last drinks were downed and the last patrons of The Living Room (described as il-Havana imma iktar chic) left the establishment. Wait for it...
Illum qbilna li l-problema ewlenija ta' pajjizna hija kulturali u li ghalxejn nittamaw li l-partiti jistghu joffru s-soluzzjoni. Imma minn fejn tibda?
And as an after-thought:
Forsi ahjar jerghu jifthuh il-Limbu.
[NB: the process leading up to this important conclusion did not involve the official appointment of a board of inquiry]
Restaurant Dona Flor Brasil - 375, Chaussee de Waterloo
The Living Room - Chaussee de Charleroi
Last night several members of the liberal elite met up in the Belgian capital and established the following facts:
1) the Vatican is really closing down Limbo;
2) the statement "most Maltese football matches are fixed or rigged" is nothing more than an urban legend;
3) some people would rather follow Floriana - Belt than Milan-Juve given the choice;
4) the village of Nadur in Gozo was once actually re-named New York;
5) the village of Qala in Gozo was once actually re-named Calcutta;
6) discos in Gozo change their name frequently. Thus Legends, Planet, Thunder and more recently Ku-Club (cul club?) describe the same venue over time. Virtual variety.
7) most Maltese male members of the liberal elite approve of those shiny, glittering objects stuck to the back of blue jeans worn by females of the species. Gozitans approve too;
8) watching Bruges-Roma live in the UEFA Cup is an equally attractive proposition to members of the liberal elite. Even if this entails catching a 3-hour train from Luxembourg plus a one-hour drive;
9) the ANR should be invited to participate in a study-tour of Brussels, in particular the restaurant Dona Flor Brasil.
Several Brahma beers and caipirinhas later, once these facts were set in stone, the liberal elite proceded to issue the following statement at a sparesly attended press conference as the snow fell outside, the last drinks were downed and the last patrons of The Living Room (described as il-Havana imma iktar chic) left the establishment. Wait for it...
Illum qbilna li l-problema ewlenija ta' pajjizna hija kulturali u li ghalxejn nittamaw li l-partiti jistghu joffru s-soluzzjoni. Imma minn fejn tibda?
And as an after-thought:
Forsi ahjar jerghu jifthuh il-Limbu.
[NB: the process leading up to this important conclusion did not involve the official appointment of a board of inquiry]
-------------------------------------------
LANZAROTE QUIZ FOR BUDDING JOURNALISTS
Compare and contrast the following news reports and elicit any conclusions one may draw from the exercise:
On 17.12.2005 at 4.39 CET, EUObserver issued this piece.
On 18.12.2005 The Malta Independent carried this piece of headline news.
¶ 2:29 AM 5 comments
Friday, December 16, 2005
Budget
Ewan Camenzuli in Brussels
British contribution 'to increase a thousandfold’ as Chirac turns on his charm
Britain has agreed not only to cut her notorious rebate but to increase her contribution to the EU budget a thousandfold as French President Jacques Chirac turned on his famous charm and convinced Britain that she has to pay her 'fair share’ of enlargement, diplomats at the scene of the talks said today.
Under the agreement, yet to be confirmed by leaders, Britain would pay for the whole of the EU’s 850 billion budget between 2007 and 2013 and also take over the financing of French overseas departments in a bid to assure her European partners that she is serious about further integration.
Diplomats here attributed the amazing turnaround to French President Jacques Chirac’s famous charm which convinced hitherto hostile British officials that 'frankly, it has got to be done’, in the words of one higly placed source. Officials say British Prime Minister Tony Blair departed 'somewhat shaken’ after face-to-face talks with Chirac and left Foreign Secretary Jack Straw in charge of further negotiatons. French officials described Chirac as 'visibly jubilant’.
"Wow,” exclaimed one Maltese negotiator after he was informed of the developments. "This will pay for our crap roads, entirely finance Dar Malta, solve our deficit problem and even leave some pocket money for a generous contribution to l-Istrina. Chirac has really done it.”
British officials, on the other hand, were wiping their forehead after they were briefed about Blair’s betrayal. "You realise what this means. David Cameron will massacre us,” said one diplomat, referring to the Conservative opposition’s new, combative leader. European Commission officials estimated that under the new scheme the British Treasury is likely to go bankrupt at some point within the next 7 years. "They will soon qualify for Objective 1 support,” said one Commission source, trying to sounds humorous. ¶ 9:45 AM 0 comments
British contribution 'to increase a thousandfold’ as Chirac turns on his charm
Britain has agreed not only to cut her notorious rebate but to increase her contribution to the EU budget a thousandfold as French President Jacques Chirac turned on his famous charm and convinced Britain that she has to pay her 'fair share’ of enlargement, diplomats at the scene of the talks said today.
Under the agreement, yet to be confirmed by leaders, Britain would pay for the whole of the EU’s 850 billion budget between 2007 and 2013 and also take over the financing of French overseas departments in a bid to assure her European partners that she is serious about further integration.
Diplomats here attributed the amazing turnaround to French President Jacques Chirac’s famous charm which convinced hitherto hostile British officials that 'frankly, it has got to be done’, in the words of one higly placed source. Officials say British Prime Minister Tony Blair departed 'somewhat shaken’ after face-to-face talks with Chirac and left Foreign Secretary Jack Straw in charge of further negotiatons. French officials described Chirac as 'visibly jubilant’.
"Wow,” exclaimed one Maltese negotiator after he was informed of the developments. "This will pay for our crap roads, entirely finance Dar Malta, solve our deficit problem and even leave some pocket money for a generous contribution to l-Istrina. Chirac has really done it.”
British officials, on the other hand, were wiping their forehead after they were briefed about Blair’s betrayal. "You realise what this means. David Cameron will massacre us,” said one diplomat, referring to the Conservative opposition’s new, combative leader. European Commission officials estimated that under the new scheme the British Treasury is likely to go bankrupt at some point within the next 7 years. "They will soon qualify for Objective 1 support,” said one Commission source, trying to sounds humorous. ¶ 9:45 AM 0 comments
Thursday, December 15, 2005
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
L'Egoiste romantique
Joghgobni hafna dar-refrain mill-kanzunetta l-gdida ta' Eminem: Now this looks like a job for me/So everybody just follow me/Cause we need a little controversy/Cause it feels so empty without me.
Eminem, l'Oscar Dufresne Amerikan? Toghgobni l-onesta' ta' dan ir-rebel li jasal jikteb song li fiha janalizza ghaliex qed jikteb song. Fi ftit kliem, jittrattana ta' gahan, jispjegalna li minghajru konna mdejjqin, li qed jitnejjek bina u li ghalhekk nadurawh. Kien hemm zmien iehor fejn ir-rock stars vera kienu rebels, illum saru rebels cinici. Li tara car ha post ir-rabja. Li tara car hija l-forma gdida ta' ribelljoni.
¶ 4:36 AM 2 comments
Illum qomt b'riefnu papali, kwazi ma stajtx niehu nifs. Imma habat tajjeb ghax kellna l-istaff party u ma tantx kelli aptitu.
U x'taqbad taghmel id-dar? Bdejt nittraduci xi siltiet minn ktieb ta' Beigbeder bhala trial. Forsi t-tradutturi ta' vera jkunu jistghu jatuni xi pariri siewja?
(tradott mill-Franciz, minghajr il-permess ta' l-awtur)
Din l-istorja tibda fis-sena 2000. Oscar Dufresne ghandu 34 sena. Huwa awtur taparsi, bhalma jezistu l-morda immaginarji. Izomm djarju fil-gazzetti sabiex hajtu ssir eccitanti. Huwa egoist, wiccu tost, ciniku u mohhu fis-sess - fi kliem iehor, ragel bhall-ohrajn.
U x'taqbad taghmel id-dar? Bdejt nittraduci xi siltiet minn ktieb ta' Beigbeder bhala trial. Forsi t-tradutturi ta' vera jkunu jistghu jatuni xi pariri siewja?
(tradott mill-Franciz, minghajr il-permess ta' l-awtur)
Din l-istorja tibda fis-sena 2000. Oscar Dufresne ghandu 34 sena. Huwa awtur taparsi, bhalma jezistu l-morda immaginarji. Izomm djarju fil-gazzetti sabiex hajtu ssir eccitanti. Huwa egoist, wiccu tost, ciniku u mohhu fis-sess - fi kliem iehor, ragel bhall-ohrajn.
It-Tnejn
Tahseb li ghandi xi haga xi nghid? Tahseb li ghext xi haga importanti? Forsi u forsi le. Jien biss ragel. Ghandi storja bhal m'ghandu kullhadd. Meta naghmel siegha nigri fuq it-treadmill, nisthajjilni metafora.
L-Erbgha
Strasburg hija Amsterdam minghajr il-haxixa legali (imma l-inbid ta' l-Alsace huwa permess). Qed immaxtar erba' bretzels waqt li nahseb fuq l-Ewropa. Is-sakra tinhass tajba wisq f'dil-belt gotika; l-ilma kulur il-fidda jirrefletti d-djar nofshom ta' l-injam u l-boots tal-prostituti estoni. Fil-Living Room (11, rue des Balayeurs), l-atmosfera ghandha laqxa borgiza. Qed idoqqu You are my high, il-hit ta' l-iljieli ffrizati. Perikoluz li tixrob wisq meta tkun bil-qieghda; l-effetti tinduna bihom meta tqum. Imbaghad ma tkunx tista' tparpar 'il barra, allura terga' tpoggi, u dlonk jibdew il-hassles. Wara ikla sawerkrawt, nillandjaw ghand Les Aviateurs (tliftu l-indirizz). Ghaliex wiehed ghandu jaghzel bejn il-bjondi, il-bruni u l-gingrin? Irrid nohrog ma' blonda, ma bluna u ma' bingrina. Saru s-sebgha ta' filghodu; ma jistax iqumli. Il-hin meta l-foqra jmorru ghax-xoghol.
Il-Hamis
Inhobb id-dwejjaq tieghi. Izommli kumpanija. Xi kultant, meta nkun kuntent, ikolli nostalgja ghall-ugieh. Kemm insiru addicts malajr!
It-Tnejn
Kien hemm zmien fejn tant kont sirt borgiz li kont nobghod kull ktieb li ma kellux il-kliem "pufta", "zobb", "LSD", "qahba" etc. Issa li sirt rebel trash-hardcore-neopunk ta' veru, gejt qisni Virginie Despentes: nippreferi l-kliem "serenita'", "tfal", "imhabba" u "sincerita'".
Il-Hadd
L-iktar haga stramba meta nkun barra, huwa t-ton serju li bih il-gurnalisti barranin jistaqsuni fuq it-tifsira tal-hajja? Mela hasbuni Father Colin jew? (fl-original Eric-Emmanuel Schmitt).
Il-Hamis
[Taqblu li din strettament ma tistax taqlibha ghall-Malti?]
Caroline, 22 ans:
- A 18 ans, je passais mes journees a rever d'amour. A 22, je passe mes nuits a le faire. Je sais que je suis une salope parce que je prefere maintenant.
Il-Hamis
Strasburg hija Amsterdam minghajr il-haxixa legali (imma l-inbid ta' l-Alsace huwa permess). Qed immaxtar erba' bretzels waqt li nahseb fuq l-Ewropa. Is-sakra tinhass tajba wisq f'dil-belt gotika; l-ilma kulur il-fidda jirrefletti d-djar nofshom ta' l-injam u l-boots tal-prostituti estoni. Fil-Living Room (11, rue des Balayeurs), l-atmosfera ghandha laqxa borgiza. Qed idoqqu You are my high, il-hit ta' l-iljieli ffrizati. Perikoluz li tixrob wisq meta tkun bil-qieghda; l-effetti tinduna bihom meta tqum. Imbaghad ma tkunx tista' tparpar 'il barra, allura terga' tpoggi, u dlonk jibdew il-hassles. Wara ikla sawerkrawt, nillandjaw ghand Les Aviateurs (tliftu l-indirizz). Ghaliex wiehed ghandu jaghzel bejn il-bjondi, il-bruni u l-gingrin? Irrid nohrog ma' blonda, ma bluna u ma' bingrina. Saru s-sebgha ta' filghodu; ma jistax iqumli. Il-hin meta l-foqra jmorru ghax-xoghol.
Il-Hamis
Inhobb id-dwejjaq tieghi. Izommli kumpanija. Xi kultant, meta nkun kuntent, ikolli nostalgja ghall-ugieh. Kemm insiru addicts malajr!
It-Tnejn
Kien hemm zmien fejn tant kont sirt borgiz li kont nobghod kull ktieb li ma kellux il-kliem "pufta", "zobb", "LSD", "qahba" etc. Issa li sirt rebel trash-hardcore-neopunk ta' veru, gejt qisni Virginie Despentes: nippreferi l-kliem "serenita'", "tfal", "imhabba" u "sincerita'".
Il-Hadd
L-iktar haga stramba meta nkun barra, huwa t-ton serju li bih il-gurnalisti barranin jistaqsuni fuq it-tifsira tal-hajja? Mela hasbuni Father Colin jew? (fl-original Eric-Emmanuel Schmitt).
Il-Hamis
[Taqblu li din strettament ma tistax taqlibha ghall-Malti?]
Caroline, 22 ans:
- A 18 ans, je passais mes journees a rever d'amour. A 22, je passe mes nuits a le faire. Je sais que je suis une salope parce que je prefere maintenant.
Il-Hamis
Joghgobni hafna dar-refrain mill-kanzunetta l-gdida ta' Eminem: Now this looks like a job for me/So everybody just follow me/Cause we need a little controversy/Cause it feels so empty without me.
Eminem, l'Oscar Dufresne Amerikan? Toghgobni l-onesta' ta' dan ir-rebel li jasal jikteb song li fiha janalizza ghaliex qed jikteb song. Fi ftit kliem, jittrattana ta' gahan, jispjegalna li minghajru konna mdejjqin, li qed jitnejjek bina u li ghalhekk nadurawh. Kien hemm zmien iehor fejn ir-rock stars vera kienu rebels, illum saru rebels cinici. Li tara car ha post ir-rabja. Li tara car hija l-forma gdida ta' ribelljoni.
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
With apologies
All of them fat and alone like me, all of them dream of being someone else, all of them with John Malkovich as their second choice!
(with apologies to Joseph Stagno - one of the protagonists in Malta's cultural scene) ¶ 12:07 AM 0 comments
All of them fat and alone like me, all of them dream of being someone else, all of them with John Malkovich as their second choice!
(with apologies to Joseph Stagno - one of the protagonists in Malta's cultural scene) ¶ 12:07 AM 0 comments
Sunday, December 11, 2005
Women Lose Weight
This was a good weekend. A Chinese Wok buffet with Lars and Giovanni, nice London friends over for A's party and a Saturday jaunt to the thermal baths in Spa. Apart from the thermes, Spa offers a large Casino and the unremarkable Hotel Cardinal where a certain Georges Krins (1889-1912) lived for a while. The gold plaque, which informs you that he was Premier violon a bord du RMS Titanic, reminded me of Alessandro Baricco's Novecento and of my friend John Schranz's brilliant one-man show a few years back at actionbase in Naxxar. A fondue night at our place and a bit of clubbing at Bazaar on Rue des Capucins (I love that faintly religious name) rounded off the weekend.
But now for more serious news. Malta has been in the EU for almost one and a half years and a few news items or perceptions keep cropping up. For instance, don't you get the distinct impression that the word "tiny" to describe the country has become almost automatic whereas previously one was led to believe that Malta was the centre of the universe? This may be because we're now forced to compare, peer beyond the breakwater and occasionally check out what the other 24 are up to.
One statistic which comes up every couple of months is the obesity stat. We've won several gold and silver medals in this category (men, kids, teenagers). Here's the latest one:
Maltese women second in Europe for expanding waistlines
Malta has come second in a European league table for overweight women.
Yesterday I was listening to a delightfully politically incorrect song by Morcheeba on this theme. The first time I heard this gem was in the middle of a sweaty traffic-jam on the way to San Francisco. I've selected the best bits. (vocals by guest rapper Slick Rick). One wonders whether this song holds the elusive clue to that other phenomenon which seems to be on everybody's lips at the moment - rampant marriage breakdown in Catholic Malta? (see here and here to see what these sisters think and for a few laughs)
Women Lose Weight
What a surpriser
This was a good weekend. A Chinese Wok buffet with Lars and Giovanni, nice London friends over for A's party and a Saturday jaunt to the thermal baths in Spa. Apart from the thermes, Spa offers a large Casino and the unremarkable Hotel Cardinal where a certain Georges Krins (1889-1912) lived for a while. The gold plaque, which informs you that he was Premier violon a bord du RMS Titanic, reminded me of Alessandro Baricco's Novecento and of my friend John Schranz's brilliant one-man show a few years back at actionbase in Naxxar. A fondue night at our place and a bit of clubbing at Bazaar on Rue des Capucins (I love that faintly religious name) rounded off the weekend.
But now for more serious news. Malta has been in the EU for almost one and a half years and a few news items or perceptions keep cropping up. For instance, don't you get the distinct impression that the word "tiny" to describe the country has become almost automatic whereas previously one was led to believe that Malta was the centre of the universe? This may be because we're now forced to compare, peer beyond the breakwater and occasionally check out what the other 24 are up to.
One statistic which comes up every couple of months is the obesity stat. We've won several gold and silver medals in this category (men, kids, teenagers). Here's the latest one:
Maltese women second in Europe for expanding waistlines
Malta has come second in a European league table for overweight women.
Yesterday I was listening to a delightfully politically incorrect song by Morcheeba on this theme. The first time I heard this gem was in the middle of a sweaty traffic-jam on the way to San Francisco. I've selected the best bits. (vocals by guest rapper Slick Rick). One wonders whether this song holds the elusive clue to that other phenomenon which seems to be on everybody's lips at the moment - rampant marriage breakdown in Catholic Malta? (see here and here to see what these sisters think and for a few laughs)
Women Lose Weight
What a surpriser
Open your eyes, a
Woman advisor
The name of this entertainement
The name of this entertainement
is women lose weight
Our first years of mariage
everything was just great
But after two kids
And a weight gain factor
The fact isNow
she’s completely unattractive
Look fat chicks
I don’t mean to sound rude
I tell her nice hit the gym
And don’t eat so much food
But no. "You're shallow
You need to run the course of unconditionnal love and
so forth."
But how if desire’s not there
that’s just delayment
Divorce is, child support,
alimony payments
My happiness I doubt
discouraged
So hurry for an easier way out of this marriage
Meanwhile my secretary June
Meanwhile my secretary June
well groomed
"When you gonna leave
your wife?"
I tell her soon mommy soon I assume
Or my destiny is blue
InterestinglyThe only thing
left for me to do
is to kill her
Moral of the story is
Moral of the story is
Desire is important
So watch your weight
It’ll keep you mate smitten
it’s a given
Well there you have it
Keep thin trim
Keep your mariage healthy
Do you know what I mean?
Small message from morcheeba
and slick rick the ruler
Peace
¶ 5:43 AM 0 comments
Thursday, December 08, 2005
Leaders and Politics Today
Simon Jenkins in yesterday's Guardian:
Cameron's unique selling proposition is quite different, and one that nowadays trumps any track record. He offers plausability lightly dusted with charm. The tools of his trade are not manifestos and "worked-up" policies, but a pleasant face, a winning smile, some eye contact and a cheery repartee. These convey more conviction than a book of promises. They snap the media membrane and get to parts of the body politic that mere words can never reach. Only losers underrate them. Winners let others deal with policy.
Jacques will probably (unhappily) concur that this is the state of play in Democracy version 2005.
From a Maltese point of view, however, what we should be really talking about (and don't tell me that this was yesterday's news) is what part of our national psyche permits a leader to remain at the helm after a string of crushing defeats (on both policy and form, by the way) while the Tory party has just elected its fifth leader inside a decade. The Times of Malta prefers to linger on the fact that he attended Eton (3 times in one editorial) while The Independent loved the bit about his wife's ankle-tattoo. You can just imagine the editor wondering whether it's a heart or a lizard.
ps: thanks to gybexi for the link to the picture ¶ 2:45 AM 2 comments
Simon Jenkins in yesterday's Guardian:
Cameron's unique selling proposition is quite different, and one that nowadays trumps any track record. He offers plausability lightly dusted with charm. The tools of his trade are not manifestos and "worked-up" policies, but a pleasant face, a winning smile, some eye contact and a cheery repartee. These convey more conviction than a book of promises. They snap the media membrane and get to parts of the body politic that mere words can never reach. Only losers underrate them. Winners let others deal with policy.
Jacques will probably (unhappily) concur that this is the state of play in Democracy version 2005.
From a Maltese point of view, however, what we should be really talking about (and don't tell me that this was yesterday's news) is what part of our national psyche permits a leader to remain at the helm after a string of crushing defeats (on both policy and form, by the way) while the Tory party has just elected its fifth leader inside a decade. The Times of Malta prefers to linger on the fact that he attended Eton (3 times in one editorial) while The Independent loved the bit about his wife's ankle-tattoo. You can just imagine the editor wondering whether it's a heart or a lizard.
ps: thanks to gybexi for the link to the picture ¶ 2:45 AM 2 comments
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
World Cup Countdown quiz
Lanzarote invites you to a) name these two famous football players and the clubs they play for and to b) match them with their corresponding Maltese twin among the MT blogging community.
Correct answers do NOT win you free tickets to the German World Cup as attempts to obtain any for myself failed miserably.
However, those sending in the first correct answers get a beer of their choice in a top Brussels watering hole. ¶ 5:17 AM 14 comments
Lanzarote invites you to a) name these two famous football players and the clubs they play for and to b) match them with their corresponding Maltese twin among the MT blogging community.Correct answers do NOT win you free tickets to the German World Cup as attempts to obtain any for myself failed miserably.
However, those sending in the first correct answers get a beer of their choice in a top Brussels watering hole. ¶ 5:17 AM 14 comments
Monday, December 05, 2005
Rue de Bailli
Helwa wisq kienet din. Kont ghaddej minn Rue de Bailli f'dik il-gegwigija traffiku, trams, xarabanks u vannijiet ihottu l-merkanzija ta' nofsinhar. U kien hemm BMW sportscar minn dawk tal-keshin (u li joghgbuni hafna), silver metallic vilment ipparkjata f'nofs ta' triq, b'serbut twil ta' vetturi migbura warajha. Hornijiet, kaos u aktar honijiet. Fl-ahhar kien hemm xufier ta' vann qabzitlu, saq bil-goff ghal quddiem il-BMW u nduna li s-sewwieq taghha kien go fiha. Inizzel it-tieqa, jiftah il-bieb....suspense...u jghajjat....wait for it:
"Aaaaa bourgeois!!!".
Imprezzabli. ¶ 8:17 AM 0 comments
"Aaaaa bourgeois!!!".
Imprezzabli. ¶ 8:17 AM 0 comments
Birds
Fans of Lanzarote might wonder whether watching too much Attenborough has got to my head. But I just loved this front-page photo from today's Indy. It appeared to me that the lovely fellow in the picture was having a good old chuckle at the expense of the other headline stories (GWU betrayed its mission - PM, Ploy to silence GWU and A double-blow - Alfred Sant) while it sat in its tiled cage contemplating its hosts' penchant for German cars.
Today's bird should also be interpreted as a nod of recognition in the direction of Pierre's piece about our nocturnal adventures.
In the meantime, it is with pleasure that we note that Terry Pratchett geek, J.R. Zammit, has been to London and back and regales us with some typically I.M. Beckian (as opposed to houellebecqian) observations (burp!). ¶ 3:10 AM 9 comments
Fans of Lanzarote might wonder whether watching too much Attenborough has got to my head. But I just loved this front-page photo from today's Indy. It appeared to me that the lovely fellow in the picture was having a good old chuckle at the expense of the other headline stories (GWU betrayed its mission - PM, Ploy to silence GWU and A double-blow - Alfred Sant) while it sat in its tiled cage contemplating its hosts' penchant for German cars.
Today's bird should also be interpreted as a nod of recognition in the direction of Pierre's piece about our nocturnal adventures.
In the meantime, it is with pleasure that we note that Terry Pratchett geek, J.R. Zammit, has been to London and back and regales us with some typically I.M. Beckian (as opposed to houellebecqian) observations (burp!). ¶ 3:10 AM 9 comments
Thursday, December 01, 2005
Alternattiva
Silg Fuq Kemmuna charts the adventures of Bernard, a university student who feels totally dissatisfied with the quality of life in Malta but is unable to create an alternative to it. (The Times of Malta).
Sant wrote Silg in the 1970s. You can imagine that the word 'claustrophobia' cropped up fairly frequently. Here are a few escape-routes available to Bernard's imaginary offspring in 2005, courtesy of Sant's electoral defeats in 2003. Let's call his mythological little brats Chanel and Melisande for full pseudo-intellectual effect and let's imagine that Chanel votes Labour (bhad-daddy) and that Melisande likes the blues but has a soft spot for Harry too. And let's imagine that they too "feel totally dissatisfied with the quality of life in Malta". In fact let's imagine that they both agree with Sant's protege Stagno that it's a pretty genital place to be.
Chanel might be:
1) propping up a Labour MEP in the European Parliament as his 'assistant'.
2) working as a translator in Luxembourg: "if you can't beat them join them, heqq".
3) biding her time as a newscaster at Super One while waiting to become Commissioner George Vella's sexy chef-de-cabinet
4) doing a degree in European Politics at Uppsala University. Kemm huma helwin dawk il-bjondi!
Melisande might be:
1) churning out judgments at the Court in Luxembourg (and writing a blog called je m'amuse)
2) working at the Commission Delegation in Malta - on 'media matters'.
3) doing a stage with le Commissaire pour la Peche
4) the only Brussels-based journalist from the sunny island of Malta
Not bad at all considering that Bernard must have done himself in weighing those darn alternatives... ¶ 4:31 AM 7 comments
Silg Fuq Kemmuna charts the adventures of Bernard, a university student who feels totally dissatisfied with the quality of life in Malta but is unable to create an alternative to it. (The Times of Malta).
Sant wrote Silg in the 1970s. You can imagine that the word 'claustrophobia' cropped up fairly frequently. Here are a few escape-routes available to Bernard's imaginary offspring in 2005, courtesy of Sant's electoral defeats in 2003. Let's call his mythological little brats Chanel and Melisande for full pseudo-intellectual effect and let's imagine that Chanel votes Labour (bhad-daddy) and that Melisande likes the blues but has a soft spot for Harry too. And let's imagine that they too "feel totally dissatisfied with the quality of life in Malta". In fact let's imagine that they both agree with Sant's protege Stagno that it's a pretty genital place to be.
Chanel might be:
1) propping up a Labour MEP in the European Parliament as his 'assistant'.
2) working as a translator in Luxembourg: "if you can't beat them join them, heqq".
3) biding her time as a newscaster at Super One while waiting to become Commissioner George Vella's sexy chef-de-cabinet
4) doing a degree in European Politics at Uppsala University. Kemm huma helwin dawk il-bjondi!
Melisande might be:
1) churning out judgments at the Court in Luxembourg (and writing a blog called je m'amuse)
2) working at the Commission Delegation in Malta - on 'media matters'.
3) doing a stage with le Commissaire pour la Peche
4) the only Brussels-based journalist from the sunny island of Malta
Not bad at all considering that Bernard must have done himself in weighing those darn alternatives... ¶ 4:31 AM 7 comments
